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Toddler Sleep Chaos: A Gentle Approach That Finally Brought Peace



When Emma and James moved to Barcelona with their two-year-old daughter, Ruby, they were excited to begin a new chapter. New city, new home, new adventures. But as any parent knows, not all chapters are easy to write — especially the ones that happen in the dark, in the middle of the night.


Ruby had always been a spirited little girl. Full of energy, curiosity, and an impressive vocabulary for someone so small. But sleep? Sleep had never come easily. Bedtime was a nightly struggle, filled with negotiations, tears, and eventually exhaustion — for all three of them.


“We just didn’t know what to do anymore,” Emma told me during our first call. “We’d read all the blogs, tried the bedtime routines, but nothing seemed to work. We were dreading evenings. And honestly, we were both running on empty.”

Their story is one I hear often — and maybe it feels familiar to you, too.


When Bedtime Becomes a Battlefield



For months, Emma and James had been caught in the same cycle. Ruby would refuse pyjamas, insist on another story, demand one more glass of water, and cry if one of them left the room. When she finally fell asleep, it often wasn’t long before she was up again — sometimes three or four times a night. She’d wander into their bed or demand to play at 5 a.m., wide awake and ready to go.


They loved their little girl deeply — and wanted to be gentle and responsive — but they also felt lost.


Were they being too soft? Too firm? Was something wrong?

The truth is, sleep challenges in toddlers and young children are incredibly common. At this age, children are developing independence, testing boundaries, and experiencing rapid emotional growth. Sleep can become a flashpoint for all of that — especially in times of transition (like a big move to a new country).

And without the right support, bedtime can begin to feel like a nightly test of patience and willpower.



Why Sleep Matters (For Everyone)



Like most parents, Emma and James were doing their best with what they knew. But what they hadn’t realised is just how vital sleep is for young children — not only for physical growth but for emotional regulation, memory consolidation, and even immune function.



A well-rested toddler is more likely to be cooperative, resilient, and joyful. But an overtired child? They can be clingy, irritable, hyperactive, or emotionally volatile — which makes sleep even harder the next night. It’s a vicious cycle.

The parents were also running on very little rest themselves. And as many of us know, sleep deprivation affects everything: mood, patience, relationships, and even our sense of self.


They didn’t need a miracle. They needed a gentle, consistent strategy — and support from someone who understood both the emotional and practical sides of toddler sleep.



The Turning Point: Boundaries That Feel Like Love


When Emma joined my Gentle Sleep Solutions coaching session, we began by reframing the way she saw bedtime.


It wasn’t just about getting Ruby to sleep. It was about creating safety through structure — helping Ruby feel secure, even when she didn’t get exactly what he wanted.


Together, we developed a new, predictable bedtime routine that included connection, calm, and clear expectations:


  • Bath

  • Teeth brushing

  • Two stories (no more, no less) 

  • A special “goodnight phrase” 

  • One cuddle 

  • Lights out — and consistent follow-through


At first, Ruby protested the changes. This is normal. Toddlers often test limits before they learn to trust them. But instead of giving in to every request, Emma and James gently held the line.


They stayed close. They stayed calm. And they stayed consistent.


Most importantly, they learned how to set kind, age-appropriate consequences when boundaries were pushed. Not punishments — but logical outcomes. For example, if Ruby got out of bed after lights-out, her soft toys would “go to sleep” in a different room the next night. If she kept getting up early, they used a wake-up light to reinforce the idea that mornings start when the light turns green.


These were small steps — but they created big shifts.



The Role of Sleep Hygiene


Alongside the boundaries and consequences, we worked on Ruby's overall sleep hygiene — the habits and environment that support good-quality rest. Here’s what we focused on:


  • A dark, quiet sleep environment

  • No screens for at least an hour before bed

  • Regular sleep and wake times (even on weekends)

  • A calming bedtime snack (banana and nut butter became a favourite)

  • Emotional connection during the day to reduce “separation anxiety” at night


They also added a short period of “special time” each day — just 10 minutes where Ruby got their undivided attention. This small change helped reduce the emotional intensity at bedtime, because Ruby no longer needed to seek all her connection just before sleep.



What Changed — and What Didn’t



After just two weeks of consistency, Ruby's bedtime began to shift. She knew what to expect. She protested less. She still had feelings — of course she did — but she no longer needed to fight sleep.


Emma and James weren’t perfect (no parent is), but they were grounded, prepared, and no longer alone in the process.


Sleep became a calmer, more connected time. And as they got more rest, they began to feel like themselves again — more patient, more present, and more confident.

They reclaimed their evenings. And Ruby began to thrive.



Your Story Can Change Too


If you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds just like us,” I want you to know that change is absolutely possible.


You don’t need to “sleep train” in a way that feels harsh or go-it-alone through confusing online advice. You just need a roadmap that respects your child’s development, your parenting values, and your family’s needs.


That’s exactly what I offer in my Gentle Sleep Solutions Group Coaching for Toddlers & Young Children (18 months to 7 years) — a compassionate, evidence-based session designed to help families like yours.



✨Upcoming Sleep Workshop – Join Us on 10th June



Date: Tuesday, 10th June 

Time: 1:00 PM (1 hour session) 

Where: Online (join from anywhere) 

Age range: 18 months to 7 years


During our time together, you’ll learn how to:


  • Set loving, effective boundaries without battles

  • Apply gentle, logical consequences when needed

  • Create a bedtime routine that actually works

  • Improve your child’s sleep hygiene

  • Feel more confident and calm — every night



You’ll also get the chance to ask your personal questions in a safe, supportive space with other parents who truly understand.




You’re Not Doing It Wrong. You Just Need Support.


Every family has its unique rhythm. And every child is different. What works for one may not work for another — and that’s OK.


What matters most is that you don’t have to figure this out alone.


Whether your little one has never been a good sleeper, or things have just gotten harder recently, there’s hope. There’s a way through. And it starts with understanding, connection, and a plan that feels right for you.


Emma and James didn’t need to change who they were as parents. They just needed to trust themselves — and get a little support along the way.


And now? They’re sleeping better. Laughing more. And facing each day with new energy.


I’d be honoured to help you find your way there too.


With love,


Anna, Founder of MyMamaDreams 

Doula | Lactation Consultant | Gentle Sleep Coach





 
 
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