Preparing for the Unknown of Labour: A Gentle Guide for Expectant Parents
- annarochdeus
- Nov 19
- 6 min read
Becoming a parent is one of life’s most transformative journeys. It stirs excitement, love, hope and quite naturally, moments of uncertainty too. One of the most common challenges I see among expectant families, especially expat families here in Barcelona, is the struggle to prepare for something as unpredictable as labour.
We live in a society where almost everything in our daily lives can be planned and anticipated. Technology, research, artificial intelligence, and endless information allow us to look ahead, schedule, and predict with impressive precision. But birth… birth is different. Birth humbles us. It invites us to step into an ancient, instinctive experience where not everything can be known in advance.
As a doula, lactation and gentle sleep coach, I often sit with couples who tell me: “I just want to know what will happen.” And my heart understands that so deeply. The unknown can feel unsettling. But preparing for labour isn’t about controlling the outcome, it’s about understanding the possibilities, grounding yourself in knowledge, and cultivating a sense of inner readiness that carries you through whatever path your birth takes.
In this article, I want to support you in navigating that unknown with confidence, clarity, and calm. I hope it empowers you to approach your birth with openness, self-trust, and a feeling of genuine support.
Why the Unknown of Labour Feels So Challenging
In our modern world we are used to certainty. We know the schedules of our day, we can track parcels down to the minute, and we can check weather forecasts hour by hour. When something doesn’t follow that pattern, when it requires us to wait, to surrender, to trust, it can stir anxiety.
Labour asks us to step into this very space.
You can’t know the exact day your baby will come. Even the “estimated due date” is just that, an estimate. Babies may arrive before, on, or after that date, each following their own unique rhythm.
You also cannot know how your labour will begin. For some people, labour starts with contractions; for others, with the waters breaking first. Some births unfold gently and gradually; others move faster than expected. And in some cases, labour doesn’t begin spontaneously, and a medical induction becomes the safest choice.
This unpredictability is not a sign that something is wrong. It is simply the nature of birth. And although it can feel overwhelming, understanding these variations is one of the first steps in preparing for labour in a grounded and informed way.
What We Can Prepare For
While we cannot predict the exact unfolding of your birth, there are many aspects you can prepare for, and this preparation often brings a deep sense of calm.
1. Understanding What May Happen in Hospital
One of the most powerful ways to reduce fear is to become familiar with the environment where you will give birth. For expat families in Barcelona, this can be even more important, as navigating a new healthcare system, in a different language, adds extra layers of uncertainty.
Ask yourself:
What does the admission process look like?
Will I stay in the same room for the whole labour, or will they move me?
What is the atmosphere usually like?
When is monitoring used?
Will I have access to a bath, shower, or birth ball?
What is the protocol for induction?
How many people are allowed to be with me?
How fluent is the staff in English?
Knowing these details helps your mind picture the process more clearly, reducing the space that uncertainty typically occupies.
This is part of the reason I am offering my free masterclass on 11th December, designed especially for expat families here in Barcelona. We will talk about:
The differences between private and public hospitals
The protocols you can expect
The usual flow of events during labour
How to advocate for your preferences
What to expect immediately after birth
You’re warmly invited, registration below:
2. Learning the Different Scenarios of Labour
Every labour is unique, but learning the most common scenarios helps you feel more prepared:
Waters breaking before contractions
Contractions starting first
Labour beginning and stopping
Labour progressing slowly
Labour progressing quickly
Medical induction
Assisted birth
Caesarean birth
This isn’t about expecting these outcomes, it’s about understanding what they might look and feel like so that, should they arise, you’re not stepping into complete uncertainty.
3. Understanding the Duration of Labour
Many couples have a very different idea of what labour actually looks like in terms of timing. Some imagine it to be like in films, dramatic and fast. Others think it will be endless from the very first contraction.
In reality, labour typically unfolds in phases:
Early labour
Active labour
Transition
Birth
Each phase feels different, and each one varies greatly from person to person. Understanding approximate timings (even with flexibility) brings clarity and reduces worry.
Emotionally Preparing for Labour: Creating Your Calm
Beyond logistical details, preparing for labour is also deeply emotional. It’s about grounding your body, softening your mind, and finding tools that support you through intensity, sensations, and change.
Breathing Techniques
Breathing is one of the most powerful allies you have during labour. It can:
Help regulate your nervous system
Reduce pain perception
Increase your sense of control
Allow your body to soften and open
Learning simple, gentle breathing techniques can make a remarkable difference.
Relaxation and Mindfulness
With your background in mindfulness, you already know how profound this tool can be. But for families walking this journey for the first time, I always recommend exploring:
Guided relaxation
Visualisations
Mindful movement
Gentle stretching
Body scans
These practices help release fear and tension, both of which can interfere with the natural flow of labour.
Creating the Birth Atmosphere
Your birth environment matters more than people often realise.
Soft lighting, calm voices, familiar scents, music you love, all these elements help your nervous system feel safe. And a safe nervous system supports labour beautifully.
The Partner’s Role
Partners often feel unsure about what to do. Giving them knowledge ahead of time, comfort measures, massage techniques, how to support your breathing, when to advocate for you, empowers them to be fully present and helpful.
Preparing for the Hours After Your Baby Arrives
One thing we sometimes forget in our focus on labour is that birth is only the beginning.
Your first hours and days with your baby matter enormously for bonding, for feeding, and for establishing your new rhythm as a family.
Feeding in the First Hours
If you are planning to breastfeed, those first two hours after birth are incredibly valuable. Your baby will usually be awake, alert, and instinctively ready to feed. Skin-to-skin contact, uninterrupted if possible, helps both of you connect, calm, and begin this journey together.
Even with the normal variations that can appear in birth (a long labour, an epidural, an induction, a caesarean), nurturing this first contact remains deeply important.
Your Baby’s Sleep From Day One
In the first days, your baby will feed frequently, often every 2–3 hours. This is completely normal and essential for establishing milk production and supporting your baby’s transition to life outside the womb.
But it also means that sleep deprivation is real in those early days.
Preparing yourself emotionally and practically for this can help reduce frustration and exhaustion later. Knowing what newborn sleep really looks like, and what is normal, protects you from unrealistic expectations and unnecessary worry.
Workshops and Support to Help You Prepare
If you would like personalised guidance, I will be offering a deep-dive antenatal workshop in January, where we explore all these topics in detail:
Labour physiology
Pain relief options
Breathing and relaxation
Partner support
Hospitals in Barcelona
Positions for labour
Creating your birth plan
What to expect immediately after birth
Feeding your baby
The early days at home
And again, before that, you are warmly invited to the free masterclass on 11th December, where we will focus especially on:
Local hospital protocols
What to expect in the public vs private system
Practical steps to feel more prepared
It would be a joy to have you with us.
A Final Word of Encouragement
Preparing for labour is not about knowing every detail of how your birth will unfold. It’s about building trust; trust in your body, trust in your baby, trust in your choices, and trust in the support you will have around you.
You don’t need to eliminate the unknown. You only need to learn how to walk with it.
With the right knowledge, compassionate support, and a grounded understanding of what to expect, the unknown becomes far less intimidating. It becomes a space filled with possibility, the space where your baby’s story begins.
You deserve to feel empowered, informed, and held as you step into this extraordinary moment in your life. And I am here, wholeheartedly, to support you every step of the way.
With love,
Anna
Doula · Lactation Consultant · Gentle Sleep Coach
Supporting Expat Families in Spain
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