Nurturing Your Relationship After Baby Arrives
- annarochdeus
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
Gentle Guidance for Expat Families in Barcelona
The arrival of a baby is one of the most transformative experiences a couple can go through. It brings love, wonder, and a deep sense of purpose, but it also brings exhaustion, vulnerability, and a complete reorganisation of daily life.
When you are living abroad, far from your home country and your usual support network, this transition can feel even more intense. As an expat family in Barcelona, you may find yourselves navigating new parenthood while also managing distance from family, cultural differences, and the reality of doing much of it on your own.
Through my work as a doula, lactation consultant, and gentle sleep coach, I have accompanied many couples through this tender stage. One thing is clear: nurturing your relationship after baby arrives is not a luxury, it is essential.
Parenthood Abroad: Why It Can Feel Harder
In many cultures, new parents are surrounded by extended family, friends, and practical help. Meals are cooked, babies are held, and parents are supported emotionally and physically.
For expat families, this village is often missing.
Living abroad can mean:
Family members needing to travel long distances
Visits that require planning and flights booked far in advance
Fewer people to lean on during nights of broken sleep
Feeling pressure to “manage everything” as a couple
This doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong, it simply means your circumstances are different, and they require more intention, communication, and gentleness.
One of the First Big Conversations: Family Visits
One of the earliest challenges many couples face is deciding when and how family should visit around the birth.
This can be particularly complex when family lives far away, in the US, South America, Australia, or other distant countries, where flights are expensive and booked well in advance.
Some questions to reflect on together:
Do we want family to come before the baby arrives, or after?
How will we feel hosting guests in the final weeks of pregnancy?
Do we want time alone as a new family before welcoming visitors?
There is no right or wrong answer, only what feels right for you.
For some women, the final weeks of pregnancy are a time when they want calm, privacy, and rest. The idea of hosting visitors, sightseeing around Barcelona, or feeling “on show” may feel overwhelming.
If this is the case, it is important to communicate this clearly and lovingly with your partner, and together explain it to your family. A simple, heartfelt message can go a long way:
“We don’t know exactly when the baby will arrive, and we feel it’s important for us to have some quiet time together first. We hope you understand, we’ll let you know when we feel ready for visits.”
For others, having family nearby feels deeply supportive and comforting, especially having a mother, sister, or close relative close by. This is equally valid.
What matters most is that the decision is made together, not out of obligation or pressure.
Honouring the Mother’s Needs
While both partners are navigating a huge transition, it’s important to acknowledge that the woman is going through profound physical, hormonal, and emotional changes.
Birth, postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, and sleep deprivation all affect a mother deeply. Her sense of safety, comfort, and emotional wellbeing matter enormously.
This is why, in these early decisions, the mother’s needs should be prioritised and respected. When a woman feels supported, protected, and listened to, the entire family benefits.
Setting Boundaries With Love
Once family arrives, new questions often arise:
Who holds the baby, and when?
Do we want visitors straight away, or after a few days?
How do we feel about young children visiting?
Are we comfortable with kisses, handling, or frequent visits?
These boundaries are not about being difficult, they are about protecting your space, your baby, and your emotional wellbeing.
The key is to decide these boundaries together as a couple, and then communicate them kindly and clearly.
You are allowed to say:
“We’re keeping visits short for now.”
“We’re not passing the baby around yet.”
“We need a few quiet days.”
Setting boundaries early can prevent resentment and misunderstandings later.
Communication: Speaking From the Heart
Sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and emotional overwhelm can make communication more challenging. This is why how you speak to each other matters so much.
Rather than blaming or accusing, try speaking from your own experience:
“I feel overwhelmed when…”
“I need more rest to feel okay.”
“I’m finding this harder than I expected.”
This kind of honest, non-violent communication creates connection rather than conflict even when emotions are high.
Protecting Your Relationship Baby Arrives Through Rest
One of the biggest pressures on relationships after baby arrives is sleep deprivation.
Protecting rest is essential for both emotional wellbeing and relationships, and gentle sleep support can make a meaningful difference during this stage.
Exhaustion can affect patience, mood, and the ability to empathise with each other. This is why protecting rest is one of the most powerful ways to protect your relationship.
You do not need to do everything together.
Some gentle strategies include:
Dividing the night into shifts
Allowing one partner to sleep while the other is “on duty”
Having the non-breastfeeding partner support by changing nappies, settling baby, or bringing baby for feeds
If you are breastfeeding, you will still need to wake but that doesn’t mean you need to do everything alone. Even one longer stretch of rest can make a significant difference.
Breastfeeding can be both beautiful and challenging, and compassionate lactation support can ease pressure and protect emotional balance.
Letting Go of Perfection
This is not the time for a perfectly tidy home, elaborate meals, or trying to “do it all”.
Ask yourselves:
What truly matters right now?
Where can we simplify?
What can wait?
Often, choosing rest over productivity is one of the kindest choices you can make for yourselves and for your relationship.
You Are Not Meant to Do This Alone
Parenthood is a profound transition. Doing it far from home can make it feel even more intense.
If you are an expat family in Barcelona and feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure how to navigate sleep, feeding, or the emotional changes after baby arrives, support can make all the difference.
If you would like gentle, personalised support for your family, I warmly invite you to contact me and book a free consultation call to explore how I can help you during this tender season.
You deserve care too, not just as parents, but as partners, and as human beings.
With love,
Anna
Doula · Lactation Consultant · Gentle Sleep Coach
Supporting Expat Families in Spain
