Gentle Night Weaning for an Expat Family in Barcelona: A Client Story of Rest, Connection, and Confidence
- annarochdeus
- Jan 20
- 4 min read
Night-time breastfeeding beyond the first year is far more common than many parents realise. For some families, it feels natural and manageable. For others, it slowly becomes unsustainable, especially when sleep deprivation begins to take a real toll on maternal wellbeing, emotional balance, and family life.
This is the story of an expat family from the UK living in Barcelona, and how gentle, responsive night weaning transformed not only their nights, but their confidence as parents.
If you are an expat parent navigating toddler sleep without a support network, this story may feel very familiar.
Parenting Far from Home: When There Is No Village
This family moved to Barcelona a few years ago and welcomed their baby into a life rich with adventure, cultural change, and excitement, but also without nearby grandparents, relatives, or long-standing support systems.
By the time their baby reached 18 months, nights had become overwhelming.
Their toddler relied on the breast to fall asleep and to resettle throughout the night, waking every 60 to 90 minutes. Feeding was not just nourishment, it had become the primary way their child connected sleep cycles, soothed discomfort, and returned to sleep.
Mum was exhausted. Deeply, chronically exhausted.
And yet, she felt conflicted.
She did not want to stop breastfeeding. She cherished that connection. What she wanted, what she needed, was to stop breastfeeding at night, to reclaim rest, and to feel human again.
This distinction is incredibly important and one I see often in my work.
“I Just Need to Sleep”: A Very Common, Very Valid Need
Night weaning does not mean the end of breastfeeding.
For toddlers over one year old, night feeds are usually no longer nutritionally necessary, but they can still be emotionally significant. That emotional layer is often what makes parents feel stuck, torn between their own wellbeing and their child’s comfort.
For this mum, the lack of sleep was affecting everything:
Her emotional resilience
Her patience during the day
Her relationship
Her ability to enjoy motherhood
Like many mothers, she wondered if she should simply “push through”, believing exhaustion was just part of parenting.
It isn’t. You can read my blog The Hidden Toll of Sleep Deprivation on New Mothers here.
Wanting to sleep is not selfish. It is a biological and emotional need.
Understanding Toddler Sleep and Breastfeeding After 12 Months
From around 12 months onwards, most children are developmentally capable of sleeping through the night without feeding. However, capable does not mean ready without support.
When breastfeeding has become the main sleep association, removing night feeds abruptly can feel distressing for both baby and parent. This is where gentle, responsive night weaning becomes essential.
In this family’s case, we focused on:
Preserving the breastfeeding relationship
Supporting the toddler emotionally
Reducing night feeds gradually and respectfully
Ensuring mum felt supported, not pressured
There was no rush. No forcing. No “cry it out”.
A Gentle, Responsive Night Weaning Approach
Night weaning is not a one-size-fits-all process. For expat families, emotional support is just as important as the practical steps.
We began by:
Looking at the toddler’s overall sleep across 24 hours
Supporting daytime connection and reassurance
Introducing alternative settling strategies alongside breastfeeding
Gradually reducing feeds at night while maintaining presence and comfort
Importantly, mum was never asked to leave her child alone crying. Comfort, reassurance, and consistency were key.
We also worked closely with the partner, supporting them to play a more active role at night where appropriate, something that can feel challenging for breastfeeding families but often becomes a powerful source of connection and relief.
Emotional Support Makes All the Difference
For expat families, the emotional aspect of sleep changes is often underestimated.
This family didn’t just need a plan, they needed reassurance. Someone to tell them:
This is normal
You are not failing
You are allowed to want rest
Gentle change is possible
Having consistent guidance meant mum didn’t have to second-guess herself every night. She felt held through the process, even when nights were still challenging.
That sense of being supported can be transformative.
The Outcome: Sleep, Relief, and Renewed Confidence
Over time, their toddler learned to settle and sleep through the night without breastfeeding.
There were no abrupt separations. No broken trust.
Just gradual change, supported by presence and understanding.
The result?
A toddler sleeping through the night ✨
Parents finally getting restorative sleep
A breastfeeding relationship that continued during the day
A family that felt calmer, more connected, and confident again
Mum described feeling like herself again able to enjoy her child, her partner, and life in Barcelona with renewed energy.
What This Story Means for Other Expat Families
If you are an expat parent reading this and recognising yourself, please know:
Breastfeeding to sleep does not mean you’ve created a “bad habit”
Wanting to night wean does not mean you are rejecting your child
Exhaustion is not something you must endure silently
Gentle sleep support can coexist with attachment and breastfeeding
Night weaning, when done with care and responsiveness, can be a deeply respectful transition for both parent and child.
Gentle Sleep Support for Expat Families in Barcelona
As a doula, lactation consultant, and gentle sleep coach, I support families through sleep challenges with continuity, compassion, and evidence-informed care.
My work is especially tailored to expat families who:
Are parenting without nearby support
Want gentle, respectful approaches
Need emotional reassurance as much as practical guidance
Wish to protect both their child’s wellbeing and their own
You do not have to navigate this transition alone.
💛 Book a Free Consultation to explore whether gentle night weaning or personalised sleep support is right for your family.
Anna
Doula · Lactation Consultant · Gentle Sleep Coach
Supporting Expat Families in Spain
