Sleep Coaching: What Is It and How Is It Different from Sleep Training?
A gentle approach to improving your baby's or toddler's sleep while respecting their emotional needs and your family's routines.
If your baby wakes up several times during the night, struggles to settle at bedtime or only falls asleep in your arms, you might have already tried different routines, followed advice online or wondered whether you are doing something wrong.
When you are tired, it can be difficult to know what to change, especially when every expert seems to recommend something different.
As a doula, lactation consultant and gentle sleep coach supporting families in Barcelona, I help parents navigate different stages of their parenting journey, from preparing for birth and breastfeeding to understanding their baby's sleep.
I know that every family has different needs, and there is no single solution that works for every baby. Sometimes, what you need is not another method to follow, but a better understanding of your little one and guidance that considers your family's needs.
This is why I call it sleep coaching, not sleep training. The difference matters because supporting your baby's sleep should never mean forgetting about their emotional needs or your own wellbeing.
What Is Sleep Coaching?
Sleep coaching is an individualised approach to understanding and improving your child's sleep.
Rather than following the same method with every family, I look at your child's sleep patterns, daily routines, environment and the things that are becoming difficult for you.
Sometimes, small changes can make a difference, such as:
Adjusting bedtime to better suit your child's needs.
Creating a calmer routine before bed.
Reviewing daytime naps and awake periods.
Making the sleep environment more comfortable.
Understanding what happens when your child wakes at night.
The first step isn't always changing something. Sometimes, it's understanding why something is happening in the first place.
The goal isn't to make your baby fit a sleep programme. It's to find an approach that works for your family.
What Is the Difference Between Sleep Coaching and Sleep Training?
You've probably heard the term sleep training, especially if you've been searching for ways to help your baby sleep through the night.
Sleep training is often associated with teaching babies to fall asleep independently or reducing night wakings.
Sleep coaching, as I practise it, takes a broader approach.
I don't simply look at how quickly your baby falls asleep. I look at the child, the parents, the routines and the family as a whole.
Here's what that means in practice:
Sleep coaching focuses on:
Understanding why sleep is difficult.
Finding changes that suit your child's needs and your family.
Making gradual adjustments and reviewing progress together.
Supporting parents throughout the process.
Every family is different, so I don't believe in a one size fits all sleep programme. The approach needs to reflect your child's needs, your parenting preferences and what you actually want to change.
Does Gentle Sleep Coaching Mean My Baby Will Never Cry?
Not necessarily. Even gentle changes can be difficult for a baby or toddler, especially when you're changing a familiar routine.
For example, if your baby is used to being rocked to sleep, changing how they settle may take time. They might protest because the experience feels unfamiliar.
Gentle sleep coaching doesn't mean promising there will never be tears. It means responding to your child and supporting them through change.
That can include:
Offering comfort and reassurance.
Moving gradually rather than rushing the process.
Adjusting the approach when something feels too difficult.
Recognising your child's emotions while working towards better sleep.
You don't have to stop comforting your baby to improve sleep. And you don't have to continue a routine that has become exhausting simply because it's what you've always done.
Why Do Babies and Toddlers Struggle with Sleep?
There isn't one answer that applies to every child. Sleep can be influenced by routines, the environment, daytime naps, developmental changes and the way a child has become accustomed to falling asleep.
Sometimes, something that worked beautifully when your baby was three months old no longer works at nine months or eighteen months.
When I work with families, I encourage parents to look at the bigger picture.
Here are a few questions we might explore:
What happens in the hour before bedtime?
How does your child usually fall asleep?
What happens when they wake during the night?
Are their naps and bedtime still working for their age and needs?
Is the room comfortable, dark and calm?
How are you feeling about the current routine?
These questions help us identify patterns instead of changing everything at once. Often, parents already have useful information. They just need the space to connect the dots.
How Does Sleep Coaching Work?
When I work with a family, I don't begin by giving them a long list of rules. I begin by understanding their situation and what they would like to change.
The process usually involves four steps.
Understanding your child's sleep: We look at routines, naps, bedtime, night wakings and the sleep environment.
Identifying your priorities: Perhaps you want fewer night wakings, a calmer bedtime or a way to settle your baby without spending forty minutes rocking them every evening.
Making gradual changes: Together, we identify practical adjustments and see how your child responds.
Reviewing and adapting: Some children respond quickly, while others need more time. We can adjust the approach rather than continuing with something that isn't working.
An important part of my role is offering reassurance. When you're exhausted, it's easy to wonder whether you're doing the wrong thing after one difficult night. Having someone to guide you can help you see the bigger picture and decide what to do next.
What If My Toddler Refuses to Go to Bed?
Sleep coaching can look different with toddlers because they are developing their independence and learning to express their preferences.
Toddlers need boundaries, but they also benefit from feeling heard and having some control over their day.
One way to support them is to offer simple choices within a predictable bedtime routine.
For example:
“Would you like the blue pyjamas or the green ones?”
“Would you like two stories or three?”
“Would you like to brush your teeth before or after putting on your pyjamas?”
Your toddler gets to make choices, while you maintain the overall structure.
You can give your child choices without making them responsible for deciding when bedtime happens.
Need Support with Your Baby's Sleep?
With my personalised gentle sleep coaching, I help you understand your child's sleep patterns, identify what may be making things difficult and explore realistic changes that fit your family.
You can receive guidance and reassurance throughout the process, so you do not have to navigate every difficult night wondering whether you are doing the right thing.
If you are also navigating feeding challenges or preparing for life with your newborn, I offer additional support through my lactation services and doula services.
✨ Book a free 15 minute consultation call with me, and let's talk about what is happening with your baby's or toddler's sleep, what you have been finding difficult and how I may be able to support your family.
🌟 You deserve to feel supported, too. And finding a way forward does not mean you have failed or that you have to choose between your baby's needs and your own.
With love,
Anna; Doula, Breastfeeding Consultant & Gentle Sleep Coach
